Robert

*swings my feet as I sit on the bed and wait for Pete to arrive and take me home* -Least I'm a bit better now- *looks at the last of my medication* -And nearly free from the disease- *sighs softly* -But I miss Rod and my dad, I haven't seen them in a week, why are they ignoring me?-

*looks through the box of photos and smiles as I come to mine and Petes wedding album* Look devil.. *turns to show him then sighs as I see him asleep* Silly. *kisses his forehead then settles down next to him*

-Pete’s hospital appointment soon, I’m worried-
*looks at him as he sleeps, nuzzles his neck to see if he’ll wake up then curls up in his open arm when he doesn’t and goes to sleep too*

-Me and Pete are still at war concerning bedroom issues- *watches him get ready* -But we’ve arranged to meet some friends so it’s back to pretending we’re ok-

*sighs and fiddles with my shirt as I wait*
Are you ready yet?

*undresses wearily and falls into bed beside Pete* -My God, that Bailey might be being nice to me now but he can be a real bore, going on about Big Brother. It's a pile of crap-
*kisses Pete softly as he sleeps then settles down as well*

God I'm so tired. I'v been at that stupid photo shoot all day and now the girls are insisting on watching 'The Lion The Witch And The Wardrobe'. This film is about five hours long. *Rests my head on Petes shoulder and smiles as I inhale his scent* I feel so sleepy.

*touches my thinner stomach with pride as I climb into bed next to Pete who’s already fast asleep*
-Night my devil-
*kisses his forehead softly then snuggles to up his side and drifts off too*

-That stupid actor who kissed me last night is still on my mind, I think someone took a picture...but it won't matter. It's not like anyone will see it.-
*strokes Petes hair as he sleeps beside me*
-Bless him, that night out at the film launch and party wore him out. I wish I could sleep, I don't know why I keep dreaming about my dad these days-

I’m exhausted after all the birthday celebrations *snuggles down in Pete’s arms and drops off into a deep sleep*

It’s Pete’s 38th birthday soon, I know he’s been worrying about it so I’ve planned something special. Well, something kinky. I’m converting the basement into a fetish heaven. It’s got whips and toys, a little bed, one of those leather covered frames that I can tie him to and loads more. He’ll adore it, he is a pervy bastard. I love it.
He’s been sniffing around for clues all week though, I hope he won’t guess what I’m up to locked away in the basement like this.

It’s been a really weird month, first I find out I have a son then Glenn becomes a dad. But to top it all off I find a kilt in the bottom of Pete’s wardrobe. I must make him wear it. In the morning, now it’s time to sleep. *settles in bed with Pete and drifts off*

I’m incredibly nervous for some reason, it’s the morning on the day me and Pete renew our vows and my heart won’t stop pounding. I’m excited too of course, though Pete still won’t tell me where we’re going afterwards.
There are people everywhere, we decided to have the ceremony in the garden by the river so people are just finishing setting up the chairs and stage, and it looks amazing. The girls are running around in their dresses but I’m still not dressed. I wonder if Glenn will turn up? Probably not. Kundu and Josh are here already and the guests are arriving, I need to get changed!

-It feels good to have Pete back properly-
*kisses his forehead as he sleeps then lies down next to him and drops off quickly*

I can’t believe I’ve left Pete, it’s been a few days now since I took the girls and went.
Luckily we haven’t sold the flat in Glasgow yet, so here I am. The girls look happier already. I didn’t realise how unhappy they were until now. Our fighting really affected them.
*looks down at my phone to re-read a text message from Pete* -He didn’t even ask about me, maybe he stopped loving me a long time ago-

“Daddy Pete says hello angels, he’s looking forward to seeing you today.”

*stares out the window* Glenn’s still in hospital. I wasn’t going to tell him about leaving Pete yet but Kundu blurted it out, it hurt to see him look so happy. He’s got the notion it will all be happy families now. Me, him and mine and Pete’s children. Crazy.

I miss Pete. *leans my forehead against the glass as the girls play* I still love him so much, I can’t tell him that though. He’s probably over me already. He certainly hasn’t tried to get me back.

*wipes away a few stray tears that I didn’t even notice fall as I see Pete’s car pull up outside the flat*

“Daddy’s here”

It's been a tough few months and I've barely slept this week, I need just a few tablets to help me. *dips into Pete's medicine bag and swallows a couple of sleeping pills then settles on the bed next to him*

It's been nearly two weeks since Pete and I were in the car crash and he's finally on his way home. I've been off college to look after the girls and rest my own injuries, and I don't want to go back. I need to talk to Pete about it, when he's better.

The girls are already on their best behaviour and we've decorated the house. Now we just need Pete. The hospital insisted on dropping him back in the ambulance. I don't think he was too pleased at that, he'll be even more upset to learn that his car's a right off. They've already crushed it. I'll keep that to myself for a while.
I can't help thinking of Glenn as we wait, I've barely heard from him.
The more time that passes the more I realise that this situation probably won't work out. Maybe Glenns already worked that out, that would explain the lack of contact.

I need to focus on Pete now anyway, he's here.

My last night in rehab, my head is throbbing after all that happened between me and Glenn. Now I'm going to try and get off to sleep and maybe forget all of my troubles for a little while.

*looks at the art book Paul brought him and smiles fondly before closing his eyes and drifting off*

I find the flat empty when I get back from Pete's, I can only assume Paul has moved out now, he didn't ring me like he said he would. But to be fair, I switched off my mobile after one night. I guess deep down I didn't want to hear about wonderful Alex and it's about time I separated myself from Paul anyway. We only got this close again because I took him in, felt sorry for him I suppose. But he deserves to be happy now, and if he can be with Alex, then so be it.
Glenn isn't around either. Thankfully everything between us, and Pete is good again. Complicated of course though, everything is.
I need to start packing again, the holiday with the girls is coming up fast. I just hope Pete's well enough to go, his chest pains are very worrying.

You know when you're a kid and you fuck up? And you hope and pray that one day when you're older you'll stop doing stupid things? Well I haven't, I still screw up and things are worse than they've ever been.

I've lost Glenn, I swear I think I have for good. He found out I'd still been sleeping with Pete. And of course Pete being Pete had to drop that little bombshell just after Glenn had proposed to me and just after I told Pete it was over.
It's my bloody birthday for fucks sake and I'm sitting here in my flat alone, crying my heart out, holding my ring from Glenn.
I'd give anything to have him back, for it to be just Glenn and me again.

I hear someone unlocking the door and I hope to God it's not Paul, I need it to be Glenn. I need to say..something. To apologise to tell him how much I love him, if he gives me a chance to speak.

The last few days have been weird and mostly disturbing. Paul's staying with after I found out he was working as a whore and living in a God awful flat. I'm glad he's back with me, he doesn't believe it, but I did miss him.

Then Pete..is gone. We've finally called it a day after he went too far, hit me too much and our children saw. That had to be the end. I'm pining for the girls already and strangely, I miss Pete too. I guess part of me will always love him, despite everything.

But for happier news, I have my soul mate back, my Glenn. And right now I'm waiting for him, he's supposed to be moving in today so I'm in my now regular position by the window, leaning out and watching for him. He's late, I hope he hasn't changed his mind.